You Can Afford to Enjoy Yourself: Helping a Retiree to Understand Their Wealth

My father never talked about money.

He was of the generation born in the 1920s, whose childhood experience was shaped by the legacy of the Wall Street crash and the Great Depression that followed. He believed firmly that money was a private matter. You didn’t talk about what you earned or what you had, and you certainly didn’t talk about what you owed.

Even when I became a financial adviser, we never had a real conversation about his finances. He just didn’t think that way.

But that all changed after my mother died and I helped my father, as executor of her estate, complete the probate application. I had built a simple Excel model to help with the valuations and, for the first time in his life, he saw the power of a spreadsheet in action. From that moment on, something shifted. That simple spreadsheet opened a doorway into deeper conversations about his finances.

Soon I was helping him track his investments. Every month or so, I’d give him an update: how things were going, what was changing, how it all fit together. It became our routine—almost a bonding ritual. Then, one day, while reviewing his portfolio, I said something that surprised him: “Dad, you know . . . you really are a wealthy man.”

He was startled. He didn’t see himself that way at all. He had no mortgage, a good final salary pension and a decent amount in savings and investments. But “wealthy”? That didn’t sit right with him at all.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” he said. “I’ve got some money, but I wouldn’t call it wealth.”

That’s when I realised we had two completely different perceptions of what it meant to be wealthy. He was thinking in terms of quantum—the absolute size of the pot. I was thinking in terms of time—how long that pot could sustain his lifestyle.

So, I picked up a scrap of paper and drew a formula.

Wt = O / S

Wealth, measured in time (Wt), is what you own (O), divided by what you spend (S).

It’s a simple idea, but it changed the whole conversation. Because now we could talk about wealth in terms of time, not just money.

“Dad, if you have £1 million in the bank, are you wealthy?” 

“Absolutely.”

“But if you spent £100,000 a week, you’d run out of money in 10 weeks. By most people’s standards, that’s not wealthy at all. On the other hand, although you have a modest portfolio and a reasonable income from your pension, you actually spend very little, and so you may have far more ‘time-wealth’ than you realise. In fact, unless you suddenly start spending like crazy, you will never run out of money.”

That back-of-an-envelope formula unlocked one of the richest conversations I ever had with my dad.

We talked about his real concerns—not just about his share portfolio or the markets, but about leaving a legacy for his children and grandchildren. About the rising cost of care homes. About whether he could afford to replace his ageing car. About whether it was “indulgent” to take short holidays now that he was on his own.

And gently, I used the formula to reframe the situation:

“You’re not going to run out of money.”

“You can afford to upgrade your car.”

“You can afford to enjoy yourself.”

Eventually, he did. He booked more trips. He replaced the car. He gave more freely to his grandchildren and to charities that were dear to him. And I think he enjoyed it, not just the spending but the permission to do it without guilt or fear.

That’s the power of helping someone see their money in terms of time rather than just pounds and pence.

Advisors tell me all the time that one of the biggest problems they have with retirees is getting them to spend and enjoy their money. Many clients struggle with the idea of “how much is enough.” 

The Wt = O / S formula is not a financial plan. But it’s a powerful way to frame a conversation. It prompts questions such as:

• How far could my assets take me?
• Am I spending at a sustainable rate?
• What lifestyle could I afford if I made a change?
• Do I need to grow my assets—or just manage my spending better?
• And perhaps most importantly: do I have permission to enjoy what I’ve built?

As planners, we often work with complicated cash-flow models, spreadsheets and projections. But sometimes, what clients need is a simple framework, something they can hold in their head:

Wealth, measured in time, is what you own, divided by what you spend.

That’s it. And when that idea lands, it opens up space for deeper conversations about security, freedom, purpose, generosity and peace of mind.

That’s where real planning begins. Sometimes, all it takes is a scrap of paper—and a little courage to talk about what really matters.